[ bringing up edelgard to dimitri is fraught, yet her expression does not waver by her will. the traitorous betrayal was hard on a lot of people, but none more than dimitri. he changed, or perhaps something came out of him that no one knew of, and it's here in fellden that she sees him the same as he once was. so she treads her thoughts on what to say with the utmost caution, for the last thing she wants is to bring that darkness out again unaware. ]
We did not speak. [ well, not entirely true. they exchanged words but it was hardly a conversation. ] Edelgard was displaying her strength in front of the recruits. I suppose it's what she called training, but all I saw was her throwing soldiers around like rag dolls.
...She called out for a challenger, and I stepped forward.
[Even Dimitri had once admitted that his anger would never completely subside, and proof of that is felt every time he so much as glances at Edelgard — he feels that old rage, now gone to a simmer, curling at his insides. Tamped down and reined in now, and for the better, but this discussion does invite complicated feelings at best.
His handful of conversations with Edelgard had only solidified how difficult this all would be, going forward. And not all because of his feelings towards her, either wrought by the past or otherwise. No, there was the issue of different circumstances, a different Fódlan altogether — he wonders if Ingrid knows of it, but if they had not spoken properly, then likely not.
No time for words when the gauntlet has been thrown down, so to speak. Dimitri frowns.]
I imagine it was difficult for you not to. Seeing her, and what she represents, it is hard to not let... emotion get the better of reason.
We did. [ then, she sighs with weight and her expression falls to disappointment. ] She defeated me with haste.
[ admitting she confronted edelgard is easy, but having to mention her defeat is hard even on herself. when she looks back on it now, she sees she had no real chance of defeating someone as seasoned in combat as edelgard. she was in over her head, but she couldn't stop herself from acting irrationally. ]
It's strange. I had the sensation she did not want to draw out the battle, yet also avoid dealing severe injury. Still, I lost all the same.
[He knows defeat against a dreaded enemy stings like a badge of dishonor, especially for those raised in Faerghus. A land of knights and knightly constructs, ideals, a harsh environment which was believed to instill strength of character. For Ingrid, especially, it must feel like a warm shame, the very reason why she was asked to speak with him today.
Dimitri is perhaps too kind to offer anything but a balm to ease her loss, whether or not that is what she seeks.]
That is not a slight against your skill, Ingrid. There are many of whom Edelgard might defeat swiftly in battle; another day, with fortune favoring the other side, and there are just as many who might beat her in a similar manner. Do not take one instance and view it as a limitation.
[A beat, his frown tugging more deeply, deciding how to say the next bit.]
There is something you must know about her, if you have not been told as much already.
I won't... but in retrospect, I let my emotions get the best of me. I didn't stand a chance. But thank you. I won't dwell on it too long. Or I'll try at least.
[ not to throw a pity party, it's the truth, she does feel shameful. for charging in without thinking, giving into anger, and having to come to dimitri with her defeat in tow. however it's important she tell him, more than anyone, that it happened. not out of obligation, or to be consoled, or even scolded. he is her friend and his wounds with edelgard dig the deepest. if they have to deal with edelgard being here, they have to communicate. ]
[As if Dimitri can criticize anyone for letting emotion get the best of them, especially met with a... contentious face. He lost that privilege years ago, and any attempt to pretend otherwise feels like hypocrisy.
Besides, this segues into something quite important regarding Edelgard, his own feelings on her notwithstanding. They have to communicate, indeed, for this is something that threatens to make it all overly complicated.]
Most Otherworlders hail from worlds that are very unlike Fódlan; this, obviously, is not news to you. And even in those who share worlds, there are instances of time not aligning properly. We see this through Mercedes and her... five years which she has not yet experienced.
[He lets that preamble settle, though none of it is news.]
But with Edelgard, I have discovered something more worrisome. She is misaligned with us, too, but in a way that transcends mere time. She is from Fódlan, but not our Fódlan. She is not our Edelgard.
The events she recalls about the war — even before that — do not match ours. She is not the same person who we fight against back home, not exactly. Perhaps that is why you sensed her holding back when you fought. She is already aware of this fact, and it casts an awkward pallor over every interaction with her.
[ yes she knows about mercedes, although she can't claim to understand. it's simply too strange and it doesn't matter because at the end of the day she's still the same person. a little younger, but then again she was always older than the others in the house so now they simply match up!
however as he describes edelgard's situation... she is completely lost. not "their" edelgard? she furrows her brow, not enjoying the lack of clarity even as dimitri tries his best, and resigns herself to a sigh. ]
I'm sorry, I can't say I understand. [ may as well be honest about it when he's trying to help. ] Edelgard is... from another Fodlan? What exactly were the differences -- did she say any of them to you?
[ she presumes he knows all of this because they talked and some context would be lovely. though given how edelgard behaved in their battle, it does seem strange she would not try to kill an enemy. ]
[He’s trying his best, even if it is a concept that he can barely wrap his mind around, sometimes. But too jarring were the differences that he cannot do much else but to accept them now — unless this is a bizarre and convoluted ploy from Edelgard to send them into a fit of uncertainty. But that is not her style; no, not after some of the things she had said…]
She killed me. In her world, I fell in battle and under her axe.
[He starts, perhaps not kindly, with the most obvious of differences. That he had been struck down — likely pressed forward with white-hot anger — was perhaps the easiest way to illustrate his point. He allows that to settle, shifting a bit in his seat.]
Beyond that? The war is not in the Kingdom’s favor as far as she knows, either. There is no siege upon Enbarr. She brings the battle instead to Lady Rhea’s doorstep.
[That same Lady Rhea who had gone missing, rather than an active participant in the war, for as much as they knew.]
It goes even further back than that. She claims that Professor Byleth taught the Black Eagles, not the Blue Lions. I think, perhaps, that is a more significant diverging point than we may realize.
[ there is a lot to take in and a lot to process, ingrid making faces flickering from anger to befuddlement and a healthy mix of both. but no matter what else, she knows at least one word to describe it all- ]
Ridiculous. Has she lost her mind? [ surely she must. how can so many events take wildly different paths? ] What proof is there of her claims? I think she's making it up.
[ she has to be. that isn't how things are supposed to go. dimitri isn't supposed to... absolutely foolish. ]
[During their initial conversation, doubt had flitted through his mind. But it was so thoroughly, utterly quashed by all that followed. Edelgard… she had been so sure of her own history, so certain when she spoke of his death, of how Rhea’s knights had soon quit the field afterward. Was just as confused, and nigh as stunned, as Dimitri as it all unraveled before them.]
There is no proof to be had, that much is true. But why would she lie about this much? This complex tale, contradicting what we believe to be the reality. The Edelgard here says that she has held onto her humanity, more than the one we know. It would be strange for her to say such a thing, even if she was acting.
[He does not think her pride would allow for it. The one they know believes herself to be too right, he thinks, to play pretend.]
And it is not like my trust is so easily gained simply because of how a few events play out. I cannot see the gain.
[ argh! she hates it. why can't they just fight edelgard and not have to tip-toe around the fact that they have to be amicable with her? this explanation is confusing by no fault of dimitri's and in the moment it changes nothing for her. ]
If she launches her war campaign in this "other Fodlan" and the one we know, then it just proves there's no changing her mind. Once a traitor, always a traitor. [ that's what she's taking from this - edelgard is hopeless and without redemption. the biggest difference is that she... no, she won't accept that traitor won. ] Is there nothing to be done about her? What do you suppose we do with this information?
[It's true. Edelgard had still started a war, a war in which many lives were lost. A war that affected him and his other counterpart, too, indelibly. A part of Dimitri can never forgive her for that; but there is the other part who tried to reach out and offer peace, even back home, hopeful that there could be some reconciliation between their conflicting views.
There was none. But he still finds it difficult to reconcile hope and the stark acceptance of an enemy that won't change. Now? Now things seem even more complicated than they were before.]
I suppose we keep watch of Edelgard, because I cannot ask any of us to fully trust her. Not after all she has put us through.
[However... does Ingrid hear that "but" on the way...]
But also to keep in mind, barring any sudden treachery, she is relegated to our "side" of this war. In-fighting will get us nowhere. If his means we must entertain an uneasy and distant truce for now, then so be it. Unless you have other suggestions on hand, Ingrid.
[ play nice, keep a truce, it's so very frustrating and awful. ingrid hates having to make compromises with her morals and ethics on this level, never the sort to like playing games of politics. however she's starting to get the sense that this won't be the first time she has to swallow her pride and accept what must be done for the sake of the greater good. ]
I'll do my best to steer clear of her, and if we must come together for whatever reason then so be it. ...Will you be alright with doing the same though?
[ with how he's been in the past regarding edelgard, she feels that she must check in on him just as much as he is doing for her. ]
[That's... a fair question, and one he cannot ever hope to take offense to, since it comes from a place of obvious concern.]
I will. It helps that we have agreed to keep our distance from each other for now. It may be strained civility, but it is civility all the same.
[The very idea... it really does exhaust him, though. Even his peace attempts at home, that parlay that did not go as he wished, require a willful effort on his part. It is hard to override terrible, angry associations, despite his promise to himself to let go of the ghosts of the dead.]
I... realize that I have not asked you something quite important. What was your last recollection of home? [He pauses, before throwing out the actual question.] Of me?
[ strained civility is a very very generous way of putting it, but that point is washed away with his question. ingrid clacks her teeth and doesn't look away from him, but her expression does wince. that isn't a question she was hoping to get, ever. ]
Last time I saw you... it was just before we were going to march on the Alliance. To face Claude. [ it feels like so long ago since they made those plans, she has to remind herself she's only been here about a month. ] You were... not yourself. And I'm glad you are now.
Shame bubbles up in his chest, guilt and weariness, besides. It creates a knot in his throat that he has to make an effort to swallow down.]
I see. In that case, I owe you an apology that you have not yet heard. How I treated everyone during that time was... unacceptable and I am still ashamed to speak of it.
[He hands threaten to fidget and he wills them still.]
I strive to do better; I gave my word then and I give it to you now, Ingrid.
There is no need for an apology. [ or at least not to her, as far as she's concerned with the whole matter. ] I can't speak for everyone, but I was only ever concerned for your state.
[ ingrid couldn't even approach him at that time. she focused her energy on her own struggles, on winning the war, and hoping things could go back to the way they were afterward. she hopes dimitri would return to himself once edelgard was disposed of, and so that was all she thought of when battling the empire's forces. ]
I trust in your word. Always. Above all others, you are my king.
[He doesn’t deserve that kind of faith. The whispers in his head do not even need to say it, he can inform himself of this undeserving of his own accord. Given the firmly-rooted guilt that still lives in him? He often does.
But he has had this conversation before. Mercedes had been diligent enough to hammer the point home in his head: have faith in the belief others place in him, do not let it go to waste, and know that they will be there if he stumbles along whichever path he chooses to lead them, hands to steady him.
Dimitri releases the breath he did not know he was holding.]
I will do my best to ensure that trust is not misplaced. And… thank you, Ingrid. For not having lost your faith in me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
We did not speak. [ well, not entirely true. they exchanged words but it was hardly a conversation. ] Edelgard was displaying her strength in front of the recruits. I suppose it's what she called training, but all I saw was her throwing soldiers around like rag dolls.
...She called out for a challenger, and I stepped forward.
no subject
His handful of conversations with Edelgard had only solidified how difficult this all would be, going forward. And not all because of his feelings towards her, either wrought by the past or otherwise. No, there was the issue of different circumstances, a different Fódlan altogether — he wonders if Ingrid knows of it, but if they had not spoken properly, then likely not.
No time for words when the gauntlet has been thrown down, so to speak. Dimitri frowns.]
I imagine it was difficult for you not to. Seeing her, and what she represents, it is hard to not let... emotion get the better of reason.
[He certainly was a prime example of that.]
The two of you crossed blades, then?
no subject
[ admitting she confronted edelgard is easy, but having to mention her defeat is hard even on herself. when she looks back on it now, she sees she had no real chance of defeating someone as seasoned in combat as edelgard. she was in over her head, but she couldn't stop herself from acting irrationally. ]
It's strange. I had the sensation she did not want to draw out the battle, yet also avoid dealing severe injury. Still, I lost all the same.
no subject
Dimitri is perhaps too kind to offer anything but a balm to ease her loss, whether or not that is what she seeks.]
That is not a slight against your skill, Ingrid. There are many of whom Edelgard might defeat swiftly in battle; another day, with fortune favoring the other side, and there are just as many who might beat her in a similar manner. Do not take one instance and view it as a limitation.
[A beat, his frown tugging more deeply, deciding how to say the next bit.]
There is something you must know about her, if you have not been told as much already.
no subject
[ not to throw a pity party, it's the truth, she does feel shameful. for charging in without thinking, giving into anger, and having to come to dimitri with her defeat in tow. however it's important she tell him, more than anyone, that it happened. not out of obligation, or to be consoled, or even scolded. he is her friend and his wounds with edelgard dig the deepest. if they have to deal with edelgard being here, they have to communicate. ]
Go ahead - don't keep me in suspense.
no subject
Besides, this segues into something quite important regarding Edelgard, his own feelings on her notwithstanding. They have to communicate, indeed, for this is something that threatens to make it all overly complicated.]
Most Otherworlders hail from worlds that are very unlike Fódlan; this, obviously, is not news to you. And even in those who share worlds, there are instances of time not aligning properly. We see this through Mercedes and her... five years which she has not yet experienced.
[He lets that preamble settle, though none of it is news.]
But with Edelgard, I have discovered something more worrisome. She is misaligned with us, too, but in a way that transcends mere time. She is from Fódlan, but not our Fódlan. She is not our Edelgard.
The events she recalls about the war — even before that — do not match ours. She is not the same person who we fight against back home, not exactly. Perhaps that is why you sensed her holding back when you fought. She is already aware of this fact, and it casts an awkward pallor over every interaction with her.
[As if things were not awkward enough already.]
no subject
however as he describes edelgard's situation... she is completely lost. not "their" edelgard? she furrows her brow, not enjoying the lack of clarity even as dimitri tries his best, and resigns herself to a sigh. ]
I'm sorry, I can't say I understand. [ may as well be honest about it when he's trying to help. ] Edelgard is... from another Fodlan? What exactly were the differences -- did she say any of them to you?
[ she presumes he knows all of this because they talked and some context would be lovely. though given how edelgard behaved in their battle, it does seem strange she would not try to kill an enemy. ]
no subject
She killed me. In her world, I fell in battle and under her axe.
[He starts, perhaps not kindly, with the most obvious of differences. That he had been struck down — likely pressed forward with white-hot anger — was perhaps the easiest way to illustrate his point. He allows that to settle, shifting a bit in his seat.]
Beyond that? The war is not in the Kingdom’s favor as far as she knows, either. There is no siege upon Enbarr. She brings the battle instead to Lady Rhea’s doorstep.
[That same Lady Rhea who had gone missing, rather than an active participant in the war, for as much as they knew.]
It goes even further back than that. She claims that Professor Byleth taught the Black Eagles, not the Blue Lions. I think, perhaps, that is a more significant diverging point than we may realize.
no subject
Ridiculous. Has she lost her mind? [ surely she must. how can so many events take wildly different paths? ] What proof is there of her claims? I think she's making it up.
[ she has to be. that isn't how things are supposed to go. dimitri isn't supposed to... absolutely foolish. ]
no subject
[During their initial conversation, doubt had flitted through his mind. But it was so thoroughly, utterly quashed by all that followed. Edelgard… she had been so sure of her own history, so certain when she spoke of his death, of how Rhea’s knights had soon quit the field afterward. Was just as confused, and nigh as stunned, as Dimitri as it all unraveled before them.]
There is no proof to be had, that much is true. But why would she lie about this much? This complex tale, contradicting what we believe to be the reality. The Edelgard here says that she has held onto her humanity, more than the one we know. It would be strange for her to say such a thing, even if she was acting.
[He does not think her pride would allow for it. The one they know believes herself to be too right, he thinks, to play pretend.]
And it is not like my trust is so easily gained simply because of how a few events play out. I cannot see the gain.
no subject
[ argh! she hates it. why can't they just fight edelgard and not have to tip-toe around the fact that they have to be amicable with her? this explanation is confusing by no fault of dimitri's and in the moment it changes nothing for her. ]
If she launches her war campaign in this "other Fodlan" and the one we know, then it just proves there's no changing her mind. Once a traitor, always a traitor. [ that's what she's taking from this - edelgard is hopeless and without redemption. the biggest difference is that she... no, she won't accept that traitor won. ] Is there nothing to be done about her? What do you suppose we do with this information?
no subject
There was none. But he still finds it difficult to reconcile hope and the stark acceptance of an enemy that won't change. Now? Now things seem even more complicated than they were before.]
I suppose we keep watch of Edelgard, because I cannot ask any of us to fully trust her. Not after all she has put us through.
[However... does Ingrid hear that "but" on the way...]
But also to keep in mind, barring any sudden treachery, she is relegated to our "side" of this war. In-fighting will get us nowhere. If his means we must entertain an uneasy and distant truce for now, then so be it. Unless you have other suggestions on hand, Ingrid.
no subject
[ play nice, keep a truce, it's so very frustrating and awful. ingrid hates having to make compromises with her morals and ethics on this level, never the sort to like playing games of politics. however she's starting to get the sense that this won't be the first time she has to swallow her pride and accept what must be done for the sake of the greater good. ]
I'll do my best to steer clear of her, and if we must come together for whatever reason then so be it. ...Will you be alright with doing the same though?
[ with how he's been in the past regarding edelgard, she feels that she must check in on him just as much as he is doing for her. ]
no subject
I will. It helps that we have agreed to keep our distance from each other for now. It may be strained civility, but it is civility all the same.
[The very idea... it really does exhaust him, though. Even his peace attempts at home, that parlay that did not go as he wished, require a willful effort on his part. It is hard to override terrible, angry associations, despite his promise to himself to let go of the ghosts of the dead.]
I... realize that I have not asked you something quite important. What was your last recollection of home? [He pauses, before throwing out the actual question.] Of me?
no subject
Last time I saw you... it was just before we were going to march on the Alliance. To face Claude. [ it feels like so long ago since they made those plans, she has to remind herself she's only been here about a month. ] You were... not yourself. And I'm glad you are now.
no subject
Shame bubbles up in his chest, guilt and weariness, besides. It creates a knot in his throat that he has to make an effort to swallow down.]
I see. In that case, I owe you an apology that you have not yet heard. How I treated everyone during that time was... unacceptable and I am still ashamed to speak of it.
[He hands threaten to fidget and he wills them still.]
I strive to do better; I gave my word then and I give it to you now, Ingrid.
no subject
[ ingrid couldn't even approach him at that time. she focused her energy on her own struggles, on winning the war, and hoping things could go back to the way they were afterward. she hopes dimitri would return to himself once edelgard was disposed of, and so that was all she thought of when battling the empire's forces. ]
I trust in your word. Always. Above all others, you are my king.
no subject
But he has had this conversation before. Mercedes had been diligent enough to hammer the point home in his head: have faith in the belief others place in him, do not let it go to waste, and know that they will be there if he stumbles along whichever path he chooses to lead them, hands to steady him.
Dimitri releases the breath he did not know he was holding.]
I will do my best to ensure that trust is not misplaced. And… thank you, Ingrid. For not having lost your faith in me.